Tag Archives: Emotions

A Morning Walk

I went for a lovely, leisurely walk this morning. It was only about two miles, but it set me up for the day, got the blood flowing and the oxygen pumping. I really enjoy these morning walks, because it is one of the few times during the day that I can be competely ‘in the moment’. I leave the worries of the world behind me when I walk through the gates and into a different world. Bills, school-runs and housework don’t exist in this place. Here there is only the Autumn forest massaging my senses and clearing my mind.

Natures palette doesn’t disappoint as I catch sight of the edge of the forest, drawing me in to its canvas of green, red and gold. I walk where the fallen leaves are thickest. Unseen trickles of water surround me, treetops explode with crows startled by sound unheard by human ears. The air is cool, touching my fingers with a hint of the colder weather to come. I come to a break in the trees, and the sun blesses me with a whisper of warmth. I pause for a moment, and breathe in the forest air. The crisp leaves and damp soil bring the memory of a taste, the taste of a memory, of hunting for blackberries with my Dad. This forest is a healer, its aromatherapy is both grounding and uplifting.

I leave the forest reluctantly, the real world waits outside the gates. I am different now, not the same. The world is different too, harsh and hard compared to the softness of my forest. I will be back though, this soil, these trees, are my antidote to reality. I will be back when I need to reconnect, to nature, to myself, to simplicity.

I will be back tomorrow.

The Seat of the Emotions

Don’t you just love Spring? The new-ness of it all, the potential of it all. Today feels like a real Spring day – not the blue sky / birds singing kind of day, more of a misty morning / crows fighting over breadcrumbs kind of day. But it has POTENTIAL.

It got me thinking (yes it does happen sometimes LOL)  about newness, and how I view it. Whether buds on the trees or that lovely new book smell, its all positive, right? But then – dum-dum-DUM – I thought about new cars. Oh yes all lovely and shiny, new car smell, zero on the clock, straight off the showroom floor. Sounds nice? NOOOOOO!!! Too stressful! I could not handle a brand new car! The sheer stress of it – I’d be afraid to drive it in case it got scratched, afraid to leave it in a car park in case someone let go of their trolley, afraid to take the plastic off the seats in case, in case, in case. I’d probably drive around with the plastic on the seats for 10 years!

Then I had one of those moments, not really a lightbulb moment, more of a dimmer switch kind of thing. A slow realisation that, do you know what, THAT is how I treat my emotions. I KEEP THE PLASTIC ON.

I am terrified of getting my emotions ‘dirty’, afraid of spilling fear or grief or anger or frustration on the upholstery. But now that I have had that dimmer switch moment, that is half the battle. I think one of the problems of how I have dealt with emotions over the years is that now I am afraid if I start to release these pent-up emotions I will open the floodgates and will not be able to close them again. To use my ‘plastic on the car seats’ analogy, imagine taking the plastic off your seats after 10 years and having to deal with all of the possible spills and stains that could have happened over that time, all in one go. That is a whole lotta dirt! I guess I’ll have to learn to release a little at a time. I believe this is part of my journey, to accept and acknowledge my emotions good and bad, to own them, feel them, and then release them.

Am I still afraid? You better believe it! But I am also determined, because I know if I don’t deal with this now, this year, it will continue to build up and I may never be able to feel true emotion again. So if we happen to meet up soon, and I squeeze out a few tears, or have a little hissy fit please don’t take it personally, I’ve probably just torn another piece of plastic off the seat of my emotions.

Thank you

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother,
“Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m a woman,” she told him.
“I don’t understand,” he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, “And you never will.”
Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”
“All women cry for no reason,” was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, “God, why do women cry so easily?”
God said, “When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed.”
“You see my son,” said God, “the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart – the place where love resides.”