The death of Robin Williams has really touched me deeply. How sad is it that a man who brought so much laughter to so many, was so tormented himself. If one good thing can come out of it, it is that so many people are talking about depression today. All over Facebook people are saying, if you feel depressed talk about it, don’t bottle it up, there is no shame in it, and if someone you know is depressed, be there for them and just listen. However, there are many forms of depression. Hormone imbalances, including post natal or menopausal, changes in brain chemicals, brain injuries, many things can bring about depression, and sometimes that type of depression needs more than just a heart-to-heart. I had post natal depression after my son was born, and for a long time I tried to deal with it myself. It wasn’t until my GP prescribed anti-depressants that the fog started to lift. I wasn’t on them for very long, and in fact if I had my hormones checked I would have been on medication for an even shorter time. My point is, it is not always just a matter of thinking positively, or talking about it, or changing your situation. Sometimes you need help to get back to balance, and there is certainly no shame in that.
Can you feel it? Can you feel the shift?
The shift out of fear and into love. I certainly can. As a sensitive, one of my biggest fears is being SEEN, being noticed. Ironic really that I am finding myself guided to a life purpose of working in an area where to get my message across, I have no choice but be seen, be heard, and be noticed.
At the Mind Body Spirit festival in March, I gave my first presentation.
In front of people.
I was so scared! I couldn’t sleep at all the night before my talk was scheduled, and couldn’t eat for the entire day. Now, I am not a nervous type of person and may even come across as confident, but the thought of standing up in front of a large (60+) group of people left me a quivering wreck. But you know what? I did it, and I plan to do it again. Why? Why would I knowingly and willingly put myself into a position where I feel fear?
That’s where the shift comes in, the shift out of fear and into love. Fear is shrinking and love is expanding. Don’t get me wrong, the fear is still there, but it is no longer in charge. Love is now in charge, my love of my work, my love of my purpose, and my love for every person who sees me, hears me, notices me. Suddenly, fear is taking a back seat, because the people I speak to, the clients I do readings for, they are bigger than the fear, they are more important than the fear.
So that’s OK fear, I got this now, you can go!
I received an email claiming to be a novena this morning with this picture attached. However, it is nothing more than a chain letter preying on peoples fears and superstitions!! God does not want you to send copies of an email so you can have nice things happen and if you don’t send it terrible things will happen. (Plus it says it was started in 1952, eh, email wasn’t around in 1952 )
If you want to pray, then pray! You can go to mass, or visit the church when its quiet, or stop in the middle of doing the dishes say a prayer and offer it up. Go for a walk in the forest, spend time with people you love, be thankful. Hug your children, plant a flower, smile and be glad because you can. Sending an email is not praying. Sending an email is passive, prayer is interactive, you need to think it, feel it, believe it.
An email cannot mend a broken heart, but faith, hope, love, and kindness definitely will.
I went for a lovely, leisurely walk this morning. It was only about two miles, but it set me up for the day, got the blood flowing and the oxygen pumping. I really enjoy these morning walks, because it is one of the few times during the day that I can be competely ‘in the moment’. I leave the worries of the world behind me when I walk through the gates and into a different world. Bills, school-runs and housework don’t exist in this place. Here there is only the Autumn forest massaging my senses and clearing my mind.
Natures palette doesn’t disappoint as I catch sight of the edge of the forest, drawing me in to its canvas of green, red and gold. I walk where the fallen leaves are thickest. Unseen trickles of water surround me, treetops explode with crows startled by sound unheard by human ears. The air is cool, touching my fingers with a hint of the colder weather to come. I come to a break in the trees, and the sun blesses me with a whisper of warmth. I pause for a moment, and breathe in the forest air. The crisp leaves and damp soil bring the memory of a taste, the taste of a memory, of hunting for blackberries with my Dad. This forest is a healer, its aromatherapy is both grounding and uplifting.
I leave the forest reluctantly, the real world waits outside the gates. I am different now, not the same. The world is different too, harsh and hard compared to the softness of my forest. I will be back though, this soil, these trees, are my antidote to reality. I will be back when I need to reconnect, to nature, to myself, to simplicity.
I will be back tomorrow.